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Sorry messages

A real apology has three parts: what I did, that I am sorry, and what I will do now. It has no "but". These messages follow that shape. Change the details to match what happened.

To a friend

  • I am sorry I was not there when you needed me. You deserved better from me. I would like to make it right.

  • I said something careless yesterday and it hurt you. I am sorry. It will not happen again.

  • Sorry for cancelling at the last minute, again. Your time matters. Let me plan the next one, and I will be early.

  • I forgot your birthday, and I have no good excuse. I am sorry. Can I take you out this week?

  • I should have listened and I kept talking. I am sorry. Tell me again. This time I will hear you.

To a partner

  • I am sorry for raising my voice. Whatever the argument was, you did not deserve that tone.

  • I was wrong, and I knew it while I was arguing. I am sorry. Can we talk this evening?

  • Sorry I have been on my phone more than with you. I noticed. I am putting it down.

  • I am sorry I forgot what you asked me to do. It was important to you, so it should have been important to me.

To parents and family

  • Sorry, Maa. I spoke rudely this morning. I was stressed, and I took it out on you. That was wrong.

  • Papa, I am sorry I did not call for so long. I have no excuse. I will call every Sunday from now on.

  • I am sorry I missed the family function. I know it mattered. I will come home next weekend.

  • Sorry, didi. I borrowed it without asking and I should have asked. I will replace it.

At work

  • I apologise for the delay in sending the report. It was my oversight. You will have it by 5 pm today.

  • I am sorry for the mistake in the file. I have corrected it and checked the rest. The revised copy is attached.

  • Apologies for missing the meeting. I have read the notes and will complete my action points by tomorrow.

  • We are sorry for the trouble with your order. We are fixing it today and will update you by evening.

  • I apologise for my tone in the meeting. Your point was fair, and I should have heard it out.

हिन्दी में

  • मुझसे गलती हुई है और मैं दिल से माफ़ी माँगता हूँ। आगे से ध्यान रखूँगा।

  • कल मैंने जो कहा, वह नहीं कहना चाहिए था। मुझे माफ़ कर दो।

  • माँ, सुबह मैंने ऊँची आवाज़ में बात की। गलती मेरी थी। माफ़ कर दीजिए।

  • तुम्हारा जन्मदिन भूल गया, इसका कोई बहाना नहीं है। सॉरी यार। इस हफ़्ते की पार्टी मेरी तरफ़ से।

  • देरी के लिए क्षमा चाहता हूँ। काम आज शाम तक पूरा करके भेज दूँगा।

  • नाराज़गी जायज़ है। जब मन करे तब बात करना, मैं इंतज़ार करूँगा।

  • देर से जवाब देने के लिए माफ़ी चाहता हूँ। आपकी बात मेरे लिए ज़रूरी है, आगे से ध्यान रखूँगा।

  • ग़ुस्से में जो कह दिया, वह नहीं कहना चाहिए था। मुझे अफ़सोस है। क्या हम कल आराम से बात कर सकते हैं?

ਪੰਜਾਬੀ ਵਿੱਚ

  • ਮੈਥੋਂ ਗ਼ਲਤੀ ਹੋ ਗਈ, ਮੈਨੂੰ ਮਾਫ਼ ਕਰ ਦਿਓ। ਅੱਗੇ ਤੋਂ ਧਿਆਨ ਰੱਖਾਂਗਾ।

  • ਗੁੱਸੇ ਵਿੱਚ ਜੋ ਬੋਲ ਬੈਠਾ, ਉਹ ਨਹੀਂ ਬੋਲਣਾ ਚਾਹੀਦਾ ਸੀ। ਦਿਲੋਂ ਮਾਫ਼ੀ ਮੰਗਦਾ ਹਾਂ।

  • ਤੇਰਾ ਜਨਮਦਿਨ ਭੁੱਲ ਗਿਆ, ਇਹ ਮੇਰੀ ਲਾਪਰਵਾਹੀ ਸੀ। ਮਾਫ਼ ਕਰੀਂ ਯਾਰ, ਇਸ ਐਤਵਾਰ ਪਾਰਟੀ ਮੇਰੇ ਵੱਲੋਂ।

  • ਬੇਬੇ, ਮੈਂ ਉੱਚੀ ਬੋਲ ਪਿਆ ਸੀ, ਮੈਨੂੰ ਬੜਾ ਅਫ਼ਸੋਸ ਹੈ। ਮਾਫ਼ ਕਰ ਦਿਓ।

Why most apologies fail

Because they are really defences. "Sorry, but you also..." and "Sorry if you were hurt" both tell the other person that you think they are the problem. A real apology gives up the argument for the length of one message. You can discuss who else was wrong another day. If the apology is sincere, that day often never needs to come.

Worked example

Message or in person?

A message is fine for small things and as a first step for large ones. For a serious hurt, say it face to face or on a call, where the other person can hear your voice. Send the message first only to ask: "I owe you an apology. Can I call you this evening?"

After you send it

Make it yours

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